I'd go with a Full Bladder

8,957 people 175,141 water balloons. I hate being wet, for me, it is like being woken up by being punched in the face by a gorilla. You wouldn't catch me here if my life depended on it.

I would have used a potato gun!

This reminds me of when my older brother would wake me up for school occasionally he would use the "A-Bomb" I giant water balloon.